When diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease in 2004, I felt like my life was over.
I felt like that for about 30 minutes, maybe it was less.
The diagnosis caught me off-guard, and that’s what was shocked me into immediate despair.
Why me? And how did it happen?
I sobbed, deeply.
Then something happened that was beyond explanation.
An epiphany!
I realized that the diagnosis was a physical characterization of what was emotionally happening in the moment.
I knew that this situation did not have to be my future.
Something clicked inside of me, and in that moment of realization I snapped out of my self-pity and grief.
I said to myself “if I wasn’t sick last year, I won’t be sick next year”.
Then everything changed.
In refusing to accept an ill-fated future I embarked upon a path of searching for self help and healing.
Before that year was over I had recovered.
Spontaneous remission they called it.
Belief is what I call it.
I believed in my body’s ability to heal.
I believed in my soul’s ability to heal.
I felt myself healing. I made myself do it.
It wasn’t hope. Hope is shrouded in doubt.
Just hoping for something means that you believe that it may never happen – that perhaps it can never happen.
I kept an unwavering belief that I was more than a momentary expression of extreme inner pain manifested in a physical ailment.
I used my crisis to create the opportunity to grow and heal.
I finally felt my body for the first time. All of it. Inside and out. Every last cell.
I had to do things that were uncomfortable and painful in the moment but that were necessary.
Growth can be painful, especially where we resist change due to fear.
This crisis opened me up to much long-overdue self-awareness and self-care.
It also sent me on a lifelong path of maintaining my wellbeing.
Where are you in crisis?
How can you make this into an opportunity?
Where can you show up for yourself?
How can you improve your wellbeing?
If you’re unsure, sit with yourself for a while.
You know, you do. Your body knows and your soul knows.
Listen closely and follow their lead.
