I hit a wall last week.
It wan’t pretty but it sure was necessary.
A series of complicated yet unrelated events befell me all at once.
It felt like the universe trying to slap me out of a deep slumber.
The intensity and absurdity of these events served to underscore some unresolved issues that I had been contemplating during the past year and a half.
I realized that the emotional padding that I had created over time to soften the blows of life was actually weighing me down.
Who was I ever really protecting?
The placating.
The acquiescing.
The subsequent unspoken anger and resentment.
The ensuing self-soothing behaviors.
The whole lot of it.
None of it ever served me.
All of it only ever served to prolong pain and disappointment.
I realized that my protective coat had grown so thick that it had paralyzed me.
My armor had become my anchor.
It kept me from moving forward in a meaningful way, from feeling valued and at my best.
It was time to shed that old coat!
I took immediate actions to shed as many layers as I could.
Savoring the feeling of liberation as the weight lifted.
The burden of ingrained behaviors, responses and habits is finally gone.
Now I can truly feel the real warmth and safety that I was always seeking.
It comes from within.
I am finally in the springtime of my life.
Photo by Szabo Viktor on Unsplash
