This isn’t about COVID-19
This is about me
This is about the journey I began years ago, that I am still on.
For the entirety of my life I have made decisions based upon the needs of others.
I have shaped my life to limit my impact or disappointment to others.
I have been an enabling codependent reluctant self-sacrificer.
I knew what I was doing yet I still did it and I made myself miserable.
Fear made me sick, and unhappy, and ultimately unfulfilled.
But now here I am.
I am ready to actually own my own life for the first time.
And I am scared shitless.
I don’t know what it is like to do this.
I don’t know what it is like to have myself as my priority.
I don’t know what it’s like to truly love myself.
What does that even mean or look like?
I don’t know.
But I am determined to find out.
Pic by Melanie Wasser on Unsplash.com
