Is that a compliment I hear? You couldn’t be talking to me~

Let’s face it, we’re all vain.

I think that we can all agree that we can’t help but be interested in hearing opinions about ourselves. AmIright?

Inquiring minds want to know! We want to know what people think, specifically when it has to do with us. It’s not often life altering, but understanding how we are viewed by people we respect or who we want to respect us sure makes a difference. It’s irresistible.

I bet that if your deity of choice was standing right in front of you telling you the secrets of life and the universe and you heard someone talking about you, you would be dead focused on listening in to the gossip.

I’m sorry God, did you say something~

Humans have always fallen prey to the thoughts of others. The classics are imbued in it. TV is rife with it. And now the whole world of social media is predicated upon it.

Depending on what you need and where you’re at, different opinions can make or break your vibe.

Workplace gossip, relationship gossip, even your choice of clothes. We all care what people are saying. Compliments are encouraging and criticisms are challenging.

It’s especially interesting to hear observations from people who don’t see us too often. Those folks who only get a good look at us on infrequent or rare occasions and who offer a perspective that we don’t afford ourselves. These are the people who see gross changes over time and not the little changes that happen daily. These are the people who see wholesale changes in how you look and how in how you present yourself.

Recently, I went to my tax preparer to do the universally-dreaded income tax return. I was surprised to hear it when he said “You look great!”

I was immediately incredulous, but within seconds I was complimented. I said “Thank You!”. He asked if I was over my autoimmune issues. I said “I’m working on it” (Can’t you see my red and inflamed eyelids?!?). I guess, on the whole, I’m doing so much better than I was a year ago that my nagging concern about my eyelids wasn’t noticeable to someone who last saw me under worse circumstances. To him I looked healthy.

If I wasn’t so deeply invested in my day-to-day, or even moment-to-moment, symptoms and care, maybe I’d also notice that I’m actually doing well. 

I’m not completely out of the woods on my inflammation but I’m not in crisis mode. Despite the fact that I make daily notations of relative inflammation and symptoms, I’m actually doing fine. The symptoms I’m dealing with are mostly irritating and crazy-making because they are so superficial. The inflammation is on my eyelids but also explodes on my scalp if I try to color my hair. As far as I’m concerned I think the puffy eyelids and grey hair makes me look old.

I consider myself to be self-aware. I make great efforts to subscribe to a personal vision of myself where I am strong and empowered and not susceptible to negative perceptions. “I would never fall prey to the niggling mind. I got this!”

Um, yeah right.

Despite the look of grey hairs and psoriasis I actually feel healthy and spry! I am generally in good spirits and eager to do fun things, but if I let myself get carried away in negative thoughts I see myself though the lens of illness (and oldness) and I can get down on myself.

I know that there are many of you dealing with similar external physical conditions. There are also those of you who suffer from migraines, body aches, belly issues, mental or emotional challenges, cancers, disease, internal disorders, etc. that the world can’t see.

There are more people in a state of suffering than we know, whether we can see it or not.

So when we hear nice things about ourselves we all need to accept the compliments and rejoice in the positive!

Sometimes it’s hard to say thank you and mean it, but it’s worth a shot. When you’re not feeling well it’s difficult to accept positive comments. I get that.

Opinions, especially the harsh ones can crush the soul. However positive ones can make your day and put a skip in your step. Why does the former always seem to outlast the other? Because it’s what we expect to hear. Especially from ourselves.

For those of us that default to the negative, please remember that when facing criticism, “other people’s opinions of you are none of your business”.

When facing compliments, believe them and give thanks.

 

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash