I was having a tough moment this morning.
The Ghosts of Jeli’s Past came to haunt me.
They came to mock me.
To run the harsh inner dialogue of personal failure.
What I did wrong.
When I didn’t stand up for myself.
How I ignored my gut feelings.
When I didn’t do what was best for me.
The sudden rush of overwhelming emotion caught me off guard.
I had to take a moment away from my daily routine and take a break.
When I sat outside to take in some sunshine on this brisk winter’s day I took notice of something profound right in front of me.
My beloved mistletoe-infested Japanese maple was already showing her spring leaves.
Unlike all of her kind right next to her.
The one with the most pain is fighting the hardest and shining the brightest.
I felt that this was a strong analogy of my own life.
My life, like most every one else’s, is not what I planned for.
So many unredeemed efforts.
So many disappointments.
I never asked to be abused.
I never asked to be so deeply disrespected and betrayed.
I never asked to be ignored.
I never asked to be belittled.
I never asked to be hurt.
But I was.
And that is how I see myself in that tree.
Even in my darkest moments I have known that there is a light inside of me which will never give up.
I refuse to give up.
I still have so many seasons ahead of me.
So do you.
Blossom once again and have faith in yourself.
🙏🌟🌱
